Sunday, October 24, 2010

Post-Birthday Blog


My cats are all around me.

They’re twisting around my feet and jumping onto the desk, nudging my hand, and then dropping to the floor again. I think they do this to remind me that I’ve known them the longest- much longer than I’ve known those silly dogs in the kitchen. Groomer, bless her little soul, has acquired the unsettling habit of falling asleep behind the computer monitor. At least once a week I’ll walk in here, sit down, start answering emails or writing blogs, and half an hour later a little puzzled head will pop out from behind the monitor and give me a fright. Or worse, I’ll be writing away and I’ll suddenly sneeze, and this will freak her out completely and she will LAUNCH herself out from behind the monitor and I’ll jerk back and generally have a heart attack. Oh what fun cats are.

It was my birthday yesterday. I would get depressed, but the fact is I seem to be improving as I get older, so I really don’t mind. I also got these pictures texted to me, first thing in the morning.





I am the worst person to buy a present for, because everything I want I already own, but even so, my family managed to get me some nice surprises. My mother got me the coolest aftershave ever- for those moments when I have to be grown-up. My dad got me a bag of Wine Gums, because he knows what I like. My brother got me a DVD of a film I had loved when I was a teenager but had completely forgotten about- Vamp. And my sisters...

My sisters, and let’s be honest here, do not have the best track record for buying me presents. I think we all remember the “Fix Your Bathroom Up” fiasco, and the “Curtain Rail” debacle, and to top it all off, last Christmas’ “Bath Mat” embarrassment. So, what did they get me, you ask?

We were all sitting around the table, and my nieces were being hilariously cute as always, and my sisters gave me the present they had bought (with the assistance of their husbands, naturally). Smiling politely, I unwrapped it. I was actually holding it upside down, but even so, there was no disguising what it was.

“Ah,” I said. My sisters were looking at me eagerly. “It appears,” I continued, “and bear in mind that I could be wrong, as I haven’t turned it right-side up yet, that you have, in fact, got me some placemats for my birthday.”

They nodded, delighted with themselves. I was perplexed. Only five minutes earlier, they had assured me that they had finally found me a present I would regard as cool. But placemats? Those square things you put on your table for the plates to sit on? How on Earth would I find THAT cool?

And then I turned them over.



“Huzzah!” I cried. “Skulduggery placemats!”

And there was much merriment (yayyy) and verily, it was a good day.

So now I am 36, and a much better person than I was a few days ago. I feel that 35 was merely a rehearsal for 36- that the last 35 years were just to prepare myself for being who I am now. Finally, I am the age I was born to be.

Thank you all for your birthday wishes, you crazy lunatics. I see that you continue to ignore my calls for less comments, which is how it should be. Minions should be allowed to babble every once in a while. It’s only healthy, after all.

So, what will I be doing for the next year, I wonder? I plan to start the next Skulduggery book sometime in November, and I’m going to take the opportunity to keep you all informed about the writing process. I know there are plenty of writers out there who have been asking for tips, so all my tips will be explained over the course of writing Skulduggery 6. Wow... the sixth book. The end of the second trilogy. After that, only three more books to go. All of those plotlines and themes and stories will have to be tied up, as it all rushes towards the final, epic, conclusion.

Kinda scary, to be honest.




756 comments:

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Polaris said...

Happy late birthday Derek
From the fan club in canada.
We think those pictures are cute and thos place-mats are cool. And when will you come to Canada.
Im sorry I missed your birthday yesterday.
I would sing now, but it's like 9:00 right now in Canada and my friends-we had an early halloweeen party- are still asleep. Sometimes I really hate sleep overs. Im always the last one asleep and the fisrt one up. So since I am awake, I stole my friend Nocturne's laptop and im adding this comment. Im also writing part of my story that has been re-named demons.
It would mean a lot to me if you checked out this link and read it,
http://www.teenrc.ca/phpbbforum
Its called WOULDTHISMAKEAGOODNOVEL? MAGIC.
By Polaris Nocturnal (Thats me)
It has over 188 views and its on the first page. It should be near the top of the page.
The reason Im telling you this is because Im not sure if it will bring you right to my story or not.
YOu don't have to read it...
But if you do could you tell me what you think? On here? Please?
Anyways happy late birthday Derek,
and please come to Canada...
PN

Liz said...

im going to be a gothic vampire bride

Wonka said...

cool. im gonna egg trick or treaters from my sisters bedroom window!

Liz said...

for Halloween of coarse

Liz said...

Lol Wonka

Wonka said...

we have amazing halloween dress sense...

Wonka said...

AHH! heart attack- my brother has just turned on a Star Wars and the theme tune was on really loud!!

Dragona Pine said...

Hmm... I'm thinking...

Liz said...

oh god, my dad always does that

Wonka said...

dont- you'll hurt yourself

Wonka said...

that was @ Dragon Boy btw

Dragona Pine said...

Your brother likes Star Wars?


I like Star Wars Battlefront and that's it... the music for that is bad enough...

Wonka said...

daaan daan, dandadadaaaandan, dandadadaaaandan, da da da daaaaaaaaa

Wonka said...

my brother LOVES Star Wars.

Liz said...

my little sister is bonkers for star wars, she talks to thin air and says she talking to luke

Wonka said...

he has loads of action figures, and one when he was in the bath he pulled poor General Grevious' head off. and Anakin's arm off to, and Darth Vader ended up wearind Obi Wan's cloak

Dragona Pine said...

I'm thinking... still... while watching Rush Hour 3... and on this blog... but thinking is taking over...

Halo pickle! said...

my other sister LOVES clone wars

Wonka said...

okay your sis sounds sweet!

Dragona Pine said...

Lol poor little people...

Wonka said...

oh god Dragona, please dont think i dont want to clean your brains off the walls.

Liz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Liz said...

LOL Wonka

Wonka said...

yeah i think my bro's watching a Clone Wars.
he records them every Friday and then watches them over and over! we have every one so far!

Dragona Pine said...

Hmmm... what's clone wars?

Halo pickle! said...

sarcathus, the video is awesome! holy cheeseburger those are awesome tunes for the video!

Wonka said...

my fave episodes are the ones with the Blue Shadow Virus thingy....

Wonka said...

and i like the Gunray gut who looks like a fish!

Halo pickle! said...

american star wars cartoon. cool.....ish

Wonka said...

AND I WANT A GREEN LIGHTSABRE!!!!!!

Liz said...

i think im going to post a picture that i did. brb

Wonka said...

okay Lizzy

Star Lord said...

Thanks, Deagle_pickle ! !!!!!

Wonka said...

hey Pickle Jar do you like pickles???

Halo pickle! said...

i thought "brb" meant "burp" awhile back.

Wonka said...

Bolt put the link up again so i can look

Wonka said...

you thought brb meant 'burp'?

oookaay..... and i thought Dragona was strange.

Star Lord said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyLefVIhv3c&feature=youtube_gdata

Halo pickle! said...

no, not that much. i do like deagles though!

Dragona Pine said...

Thinking... no my brains won't go over the wall... it is fine where it is, in my head...

Wonka said...

hee hee hee attack of the insane comments

Wonka said...

but normally when you think Dragona your brain implodes with the stress.

Dragona Pine said...

No it doesn't... I think alot... and if you think my brain would implode from that... then it would have been completely obliterated when I used my phycic or my random photographic memory... because that uses a lot of brain power...

Wonka said...

dont worry. this game is called 'Let's Be As Annoying As Possible Without Getting Beaten Up'

Halo pickle! said...

you have psychic powers dragona? coooooollllllll.

Wonka said...

Dragon Boy, you have finally amazed me. your brain sure is a lot harder than you are.

Wonka said...

it isnt cool. he can tell when all those assasins ive hired out are gonna kill him *scowls*

Halo pickle! said...

assasins!?!?!?

Dragona Pine said...

And photographic memory deagle...

And I think I can send telepathic messages, although it might have been a fluke... but it certanly happened...

Wonka said...

my cats can smell the baby mice we found. theyre freaking out and the mice are as oblivious as ever....

Halo pickle! said...

really pine?

Wonka said...

ive just thought about how funny it would seem to Pickle Guy if someone wrote 'im gonna brb' and this was a while back. i would certainly laugh.

Liz said...

ack, the pictures wont work. but i am going to go record "The Soldier Boy's Lament" and add it as my song clip, ill tell yall when its up

Wonka said...

my cats tail is flicking. he wants food (mice)

Dragona Pine said...

Yes... really... but people overestimate being phycic...

Wonka said...

i definitely OVERestimate you, Dragon Boy

Dragona Pine said...

Wonka, that's not possible...

Wonka said...

really? how come i can?

Wonka said...

Bolt, look away now.

Dragona Pine said...

Because your you, Wonka.

Halo pickle! said...

=D)) fat smiley man lolollol.

Wonka said...

and i definitely laugh at you

Halo pickle! said...

me?

Wonka said...

and thay IS possible. in fact, it's scientifically proven that 99% of the time you will laugh at Dragon Boy

Wonka said...

goddammittypo

Halo pickle! said...

what, me!?

Dragona Pine said...

Again Wonka... because your you...

Wonka said...

noooo Dragon Boy

Wonka said...

yes Dragon Boy, i am me. the same way you are you, and Pickle Guy is Pickle Guy.

(jeesh, this is what i mean about overestimating...)

Dragona Pine said...

Rush Hour is so funny...

Wonka said...

goddammit mums kicking me off c u guyz

Halo pickle! said...

WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON I CANT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT!?!?!?!.

Star Lord said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyLefVIhv3c&feature=youtube_gdata


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyLefVIhv3c&feature=youtube_gdata


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyLefVIhv3c&feature=youtube_gdata


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyLefVIhv3c&feature=youtube_gdata


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyLefVIhv3c&feature=youtube_gdata


WATCH IT!!!

Dragona Pine said...

Wonka... you are breaking the peace treaty...

I am allowed to kick you.


*kicks Wonka in the face*


Treaty settled...

Halo pickle! said...

i already did!

Dragona Pine said...

Lol deagle...

Star Lord said...

Dragona have yo uwatched the video???!!!

Dragona Pine said...

Have you ever tried thinking during Wedding Crashers, it doesn't work because your laughing so much you can't think...

Dragona Pine said...

Yes Sarthacus, I did, ITS AWSOME!

Liz said...

i recorded the song and completely sucks! i sounded so good when i was writing it :(

Dragona Pine said...

I'm still thinking, trying to... it's working though... I'm going across the events of the last week...

Star Lord said...

Thanks, Dragona.



Few!

Halo pickle! said...

bye.

Dragona Pine said...

Lol Sarthacus...


I'm on thursday at the moment... I went on GTA and on this blog...

Dragona Pine said...

Friday, this blog...

Liz said...

where did everyone go?

Dragona Pine said...

I don't know...

Liz said...

hows that thinking going?

Dragona Pine said...

Very good thanks lol.

Dragona Pine said...

I've gone all goosepimply again... when it isn't cold...

Liz said...

must be a ghost

Dragona Pine said...

My house is haunted so maybe... but the ghosts are nice hehe...

Liz said...

what do they do?

Liz said...

brb

Forever Delayed said...

DEREK! where can we buy Skulduggery Pleasant posters? I seen one behind you in a interview, and want one badly :(

Dragona Pine said...

Nothing... but I know their there because my dads sister is phycic and she wouldn't come in because it was 'rich with spirits' but I can't sense spirits, I can sense the future...

Dragona Pine said...

Ok Lizzy... and now I'm a loner... Fooorrrr nooowww...

Liz said...

i cant do anything cool like that, all i do is walk around in the woods barefoot

Liz said...

hey Kallista!

Liz said...

woot!!!!!

Dragona Pine said...

Hi Kallista.

Dragona Pine said...

Lol.

Dragona Pine said...

Yey... 333 lol

Liz said...

*hums randomly* anything cool happening in the future Dragona?

Liz said...

thanks Kallista, i was worried you wouldn't like it because it was sad

Liz said...

i sorta like that in books

Liz said...

LOL tell me more

Liz said...

ooooooooooooooh

Star Lord said...

I'm gonna write about what could've happened if the Remnant had stayed in Valkyrie and made her destructive...


Muhahaha!!

Liz said...

bye Kallista!

Liz said...

no problem ;) if he trys to do that i will beat him up

Star Lord said...

I'm... a...


Lone, lonely loner, all alone! I'm a lone lonely loner, all alone! I'm a lone lonely loner, a lone lonely loner, a lone lonely loner all alone!!

Star Lord said...

Ye like 'iss song???

Liz said...

drama queen

Liz said...

hey Flo!

Anonymous said...

lizzy there will be no cake...

Liz said...

awwwwww, will there be pie?

Anonymous said...

no there will be no pie either...

Liz said...

cookies?

Anonymous said...

although i really do like pie...

Liz said...

who doesnt like pie?

Anonymous said...

there will no cookies

Star Lord said...

Oh, Derek, you told everyone in germany Laura is 22, and yo utaught martial arts to her, yet yo udidn't tell us!!!

Anonymous said...

my friend...

Star Lord said...

Derek said: "I like watching people get their arms riffed off and that... because it's funny..."

Liz said...

with there be brownies? if so i will make the BEST brownies in the world

Star Lord said...

He had posters of Freddy Krueger on his bedroom wall!!!


He watched all of the horror movies when his parents were sleeping!

Anonymous said...

well so do i...

Liz said...

real brownies or the kind from boxes?

Star Lord said...

"And I'd be imagining what I'd be doing in their place, oy uknow... if only I had a lightsaber!"

Dragona Pine said...

Back

Anonymous said...

no i ment that i have a poster of Freddy Krueger on my wall..

and i dont like brownies..exept for my uncles but they are usually burned....

Star Lord said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIpjwJtumks


Lolification!

Anonymous said...

brb

Dragona Pine said...

Hi everyone who's on...

Dragona Pine said...

Brb, need to wash up...

Anonymous said...

back...lizzy u still on??

Liz said...

i wont

Anonymous said...

kallista what was your dream??

Liz said...

i ain't going to tellllllllllll

Anonymous said...

*raises eyebrow*

lizzy i emailed you back on that...

Anonymous said...

well if you wont tell me then fine...anyway i went to the shop today and got some random slime and then i droped it on my computer...it went through the little holes and the com expolded...how awsome is that??

i think that i still have bits of computer and slime on the ceiling...

Anonymous said...

yh i just randomly gt it so i call it random slime..

Anonymous said...

you should have seen the gardeners face when he came to water my plants...

Anonymous said...

yay new page

Anonymous said...

no you cant

Anonymous said...

can you please tell me about your dream??

Anonymous said...

before you get kicked off...

Dragona Pine said...

Back.

Liz said...

hey Flo i emailed you back

Anonymous said...

stupid ppl when you tell them your not hungry they are ment to listen.. brb

Dragona Pine said...

Florence, have you been trying to avoid me or is it coincidence that twice as soon as I come on that you've gone off imediatly after?

Dragona Pine said...

3 times...

*sighs*

Liz said...

coincidence? i think not!

Dragona Pine said...

Ah well...

Liz said...

my mum is always forcing me to eat when im not hungry, so i know what you mean Flo

Anonymous said...

back nope im not trying to avoid you... first time was because i was going out with my friends..(concert cinema more concerts)

second was because my stupid cook asked if i was hungry

and the third was because he asked again and i had to get him deported...like seriously how many times am i ment to repeat myself...

Dragona Pine said...

Do does my mum tonight, so I had a yogurt to please her...

Anonymous said...

oh and i wrote back lizzy

Dragona Pine said...

Ok Florence... did you have anymore dreams?

Anonymous said...

i have dreams every night dragona

Liz said...

i wrote back Flo

Dragona Pine said...

Yes, but any of 'those'

Anonymous said...

i wrote back lizzy

Liz said...

mailed ya Flo, you will NOT like it

Anonymous said...

can i ignore that question???

Anonymous said...

and i answered it...

Dragona Pine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mary Hiashi said...

Hello!
Have you guys checked out my new blog: We the Kings? I know Dragona has. (You'll be the first to post for the story if you wish.)

Lizzy, how do you add team members? HELLLLPPPPP me!

Dragona Pine said...

Florence, answer my question...

Liz said...

LOL i dont know where my little sis got a table leg, but she has one and shes waving it around

Dragona Pine said...

Alright Mary...

Mary Hiashi said...

And Derek, those are some mighty fine placemats. I am still laughing about the whole aftershave thing. And the cat thing...my grandma would probably love that...

Dragona Pine said...

Lol Lizzy...

Anonymous said...

fine i did..

Anonymous said...

lizzy i wrote back..

Dragona Pine said...

Hmm... I still haven't got that message you sent me Lizzy... maybe it got lost in the continous streams of the internet...

Mary Hiashi said...

Lizzy?

I don't know what to do!

Liz said...

Hey Miss Mary, you add ppl by going to 'settings' and then 'permissions' and you invite ppl w/ their email addresses

Dragona Pine said...

Florence, tell me or send me a message or something...

Star Lord said...

... ANybody seen Thor Schooner lately??? He's not been on for months...

Dragona Pine said...

No, I haven't seen Thor Schooner...

Mary Hiashi said...

Okay. Thanks!
Does anyone want to join?

Liz said...

oh,oh! me,me! *jumps up and down*

Anonymous said...

dragona you dont know how to use mesenger on here...

Halo pickle! said...

hey.

Anonymous said...

me me me me me!

*waves hands*

Dragona Pine said...

Florence, Sarthacus sent me an email or something saying summat about telepathic messages and it worked... it came above Followers saying 'you have one new email ready for you'

Mary Hiashi said...

So, do you just add authors...

Anonymous said...

fine but do you really want to know??

Mary Hiashi said...

I need your emails don't I?

Dragona Pine said...

Yes I do want to know.

Anonymous said...

val_black@hotmail.co.uk


thats for whoever wants to send me an e-mail

Liz said...

my email is for the privileged few, i dont want to give it out like that

Dragona Pine said...

Florence, I would like to know...

Nicole Fudge (Nicolette Croga) said...

camels are just so cute aren't they

Dragona Pine said...

I agree with you Lizzy... I don't give mine out either...

Mary Hiashi said...

Okaaayyy...Florence I think I invited you...*Looks puzzled*...hopefully... Dragona and Lizzy, do you want to email me your emails? I won't give them out.

Star Lord said...

Nicolette, check out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyLefVIhv3c&feature=mfu_in_order&playnext=1&videos=_xVxp_xNAu0

My 2nd video!!

Liz said...

ok Mary, if you give this out i will never trust Canadians again

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