Thursday, November 10, 2011

Derek's Great Adventure

Last night I had a thrilling escape.

Oh you should've been there. There was shouting and wailing and weeping, and violence! Oh so much violence! There was a knife involved, and a hammer, and it was all very dramatic. What started out as a normal night in changed in the blink of an eye, and suddenly I was trapped, with no way out.

Over the past few weeks, I've been having some work done to the house. One of these little jobs is to have all of the inside doors replaced- because they were old-fashioned, apparently. (They didn't look old-fashioned to me, to be perfectly honest. They pretty much looked like doors. I didn't even KNOW doors could look old-fashioned. But there you go.)

Anyway, so the carpenters spent the whole day fitting these new doors. They put the hinges on, set the doors into the door frames, put in the locks and latches. The only thing they didn't do was put the actual door HANDLES in. Which was fine. They were going to do that first thing in the morning. The only thing I had to be careful of was not let any of the doors actually CLOSE. No problem, thought I.

I was heading to bed at about three that night. I gave the doggies their usual scratch behind the ears at bedtime and left them in the dark kitchen. Next I went looking for the cats with a can of air freshener (the only thing that will convince the cats to leave the house at night is when I spray an aerosol can nearby. Otherwise they'll just look at me while I'm trying to herd them out, and not actually move). I got the first two cats to leave, but the Mammy Cat was in her usual place, sitting on my chair in my office. She's really taken to this chair. Every day it's a struggle to be the one to sit in it- and the problem is compounded by the fact that she's sneakier than I am. She'll stand on the desk, watching me, and then she'll usually knock something over. After I've picked it up I'll look around and she'll be curled up on my chair with this insanely smug cat-expression on her cat-face. It's gotten so bad I'm seriously considering buying a second chair, just for her.

But I digress.

So, the Mammy Cat is in my office. I close the door over- careful not to close it fully- and open the window. I look at the Mammy Cat. I know she knows what this means. I know she knows I have the aerosol can. I know she knows the door is closed over so there's no escape. I hold up the can. She glares at me through slitted eyes. I shake the can. Reluctantly, she stands, and stretches. She moves from the chair onto the desk, up onto the printer to the window-sill.

"Good girl," I say.

She looks at me. Then the VERY slight breeze wafts in through the window and the door behind me clicks shut. I freeze, my eyes wide. The Mammy Cat gives a cat-smirk, and vanishes into the night.

I turn to the door. "Oh no," I say. "Oh no no no." I dig my finger into the hole burrowed for the handle to go in, and try and pull the door open. No chance. I take out my pen-knife, slide it through and try to unlatch the latch. No luck. I have a screwdriver in my office, so I push that into the handle-hole and try to use the screwdriver itself as a handle. Not a hope.

I stare at the door. "Oh dear God."

I look at the window. It's pretty narrow and it's pretty high up, but I'm relatively sure I can clamber up and squeeze through. But then what? I've just locked up. Every door in the place is locked, and all the keys are still IN the locks. Even if I got out the window, there would be no way back in.

I stare at the door. This is becoming a situation. This is becoming serious. I am actually trapped in my office, with no way out.

(This is when the shouting and wailing and weeping occurred. The violence will occur soon.)

I spend the next twenty minutes trying to open the door using my pen-knife and the screwdriver. I've seen the movies where the hero slides a credit card between the door and the doorframe and unlocks it, so I even try that. But apparently my door is cash only, because my credit card isn't accepted and so is returned- kind of sheepishly- to my wallet.

I have to break down the door. I have to.

The idea fills me with a strange sort of glee.

I've never broken down a door before. I've written about it, but I've never actually done it.

I'm going to kick it down. That's what I'm going to do. I grin, take a step back, and get ready. This is going to be AWESOME.

But then I remember that the door opens INWARDS. So if I DID kick it down, it would splinter the doorframe. And while replacing the door wouldn't be a problem, replacing the door-FRAME would be slightly more of an issue.

My grin fades. Whatever I do, I can't damage the frame. Which means I literally have to make a hole in the door so that I can dismantle the lock/latch mechanism by simply pulling it out.

I look around my office. There are all the usual things you'd find in an office. Pens. Paper. A computer. Strange-looking lamps. A scarf. A phone. A filing cabinet. Books. Comics. A board game. And then I see it, resting on one of the shelves. A hammer.

The grin returns to my face. I'm going to bust open my door using a hammer. This night is AWESOME.

I return to the door, hammer in hand. I spend a few seconds  going over all the possibilities. I'm going to feel pretty silly in the morning if I've wrecked the door and there was an easy way out all along. But I'm pretty sure there isn't. I'm pretty sure I don't have a choice.

So I swing.

Oh, it is glorious, the swinging. The hammer makes a big dent on impact. I swing again, and the wood cracks. I swing again, and again, and suddenly I'm through. I can see the hall. This is going to work.

And so, I demolish the door. With each swing the intensity grows. The wood splinters and cracks and falls away and still I swing, harder and harder, reveling in the violence. Battered holes in the door join up to make bigger holes. The impacts ring in my ears. I can see the lock mechanism but I have to make the hole bigger. Much bigger. Laughing, I continue my attack. The door doesn't stand a chance.

"Think you're so tough?" I almost rant. "Think you're such a tough door? Look at you now! I'm breaking you apart! I could stick my head all the way through you and shout "Heeeeeeere's Johnny!' You are NOTHING to me! I am victorious! You are NOTHING!"

The door doesn't stand a chance. By the time my bloodlust has abated, pieces of the door are scattered all over the hall floor. I rip out the lock mechanism and pull open the door and laugh. LAUGH, I tell you.

"Is that it?" I almost cry. "Is that the best you've got? Is there no one on this Earth to even CHALLENGE  me? Come! Kneel before me! Kneel before the Golden God!"

Silence echoes around the house. The house fears me. The house SHOULD fear me. For I am a great and terrible God.




This morning the carpenters came back. They looked at the door, at the mess on the floor, and frowned. "Did... did we leave it like this?" they asked.

I hesitated only a moment. "Yes," I said. "Very sloppy work, gentlemen. Very sloppy work indeed."

And I walked away.

4,833 comments:

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NOM Ominous said...

Well, being first on not the first page isn't a first for her. It always happens.

NOM Ominous said...

congratz, bella!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Yay! I got first!


I dedicate this page to Derek! You should keep the broken door so whenever someone irritates you you can pull it out of the closet and glance at it a whole bunch and act all scary and say something like, "You know, last time I got annoyed with someone, I shoved their head through this door. Do you want to end up with your head through a door? Because I'll make it happen."


And, I now claim that the window on a door that I broke was officially the door to China's apartment that Valkyrie - ME - kicks down in the first book. So, there's a similarity between me, Derek, and Val! We kill doors! FEAR US, DOORS, FEAR US!!!!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*glares* YOU SHALL NOT CALL ME BELLA.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Derek, Amanda thinks that you should give her your door because she really wants it XD

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

BRB my computer is forcing me to restart it...

NOM Ominous said...

Did IIII call you bella? No I don't think I did. *turns around looking for someone to blame...* uuuuhh... you accept chairs? cause it's all its fault! Honest, it like grabbed me and was all "HAN-HAN-HAH-HA-HA-AAA!" and I was all: "NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOoOooooOOO" (epic huh?)






but it was too late...

Dia T said...

I laughed so hard when I read this that I started crying. Seriously. I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Thank you for sharing your adventure :)

NOM Ominous said...

hey, gwalia!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

THRUST, Look up! Look at your earlier comment! You said "congratz, bella!"



*glares at raven* STOP CALLING ME BELLA.

NOM Ominous said...

Yea... I was just following raven, i donno, I didn't know you were bella, nor did I know you didn't like it... sorry. *glares at chair - you owe me one...*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*sneaks up behind chair* *steals Derek's hammer* *breaks the chair with it and laughs maniacally*


AHAHAHAHA!!!! YES!!!! JOIN THE DOOR!!! JOIN IT!!!

nights.raven said...

*hands peace offering* srry val

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*crosses arms and looks at raven out of the corner of my eye* Is the peace offering a pie?

Alexis A. said...

Oh gosh. I truly thought you were just making up an entertaining fantasy for us minions. Then I saw the door... Poor thing. But it had it coming. That's what happens to a door when it tries to trap a god.


(>^.^)>Yo<(^.^<)

nights.raven said...

that it is, val


hi kal! *hugs*

hi kim

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Nothing's WRONG with it, it's just that'd I'd prefer if I wasn't addressed by my real name here...

NOM Ominous said...

On here Val goes by her taken name.

Alexis A. said...

That's fair enough.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

And I LIKE my real name, it describes me perfectly; it means beautiful, and I so am XD


But I'd just prefer to be Val on here. Oh, and congrats Kallista!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Ugh, I really wanna ask Derek something but I don't want him to think I'm annoying...

Alexis A. said...

I don't see how a question can be annoying.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*sits patiently* *starts tapping fingers on the table* *begins to fidget* I'm not going to annoy Derek...







*continues to act impatient* *suddenly stands up* *grabs the table and screams* *flips it over*

I CAN'T STAND IT! DEREK DID YOU SEND THE PRIZES YET?! I NEED TO KNOW!!! IF YOU WAIT ANY LONGER IT WON'T COME FOR LIKE THREE MONTHS BECAUSE OF CHRISTMAS AND STUFF!!!!!!

Misty Bright said...

WOW. THAT MUST OF BEEN AWESOME!

NOM Ominous said...

vex I just read your halloween story. awesome.

NOM Ominous said...

ok-- not taken name. User name.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Hehe. I just randomly started singing jingle bells XD

NOM Ominous said...

A few years ago, I moved to a new room in the house, (yay). It was awesome. The room was painted, I got new shelves, a desk, Val's only nemises chair (which is not that bad, but the back used to fall off for no reason at all...). Yessir, things were good. Buuuut...
when I shut the door for some privesy, things got bad. The door nob was loose, or something, and the door slides in, pressing tightly next to the door frame. The next thing I knew, my mom and one of my brothers was slamming their sholders into the door as I pulled on the door-handle. NO HAMMER REQUIERED, the door was open. (whew!)
We haven't replaced the door, but now I've got a technique, but a couple of days ago, IT DIDN'T WORK. but then it did,
The End.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Interesting story. My door story involves blood. Lots of blood.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I'm serious.

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Hi all!!!¡¡¡!!!

My door story involves glass shards.

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

No blood though.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

So does mine! Glass, blood, and an ambulance. Wanna hear it?

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Hi Val V!!!¡¡¡!!!

I suppose so. :)

Tori said...

.......oh........god......
i wouldn't have been able to do that
i would have probably climbed out the window and then been lost as to what to do next :P





my cat's giving me a look right now and if i don't start petting her soon she's going to lay on me so i can't see what i'm doing and claw my chest
and she looks extremely cute and innocent while doing it
that's what makes her eeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvviiiiiiilllllll

Pyro-Dawn Tyromant said...

Hi Tori!!!¡¡¡!!!

NOM Ominous said...

Well, heres a story with blood:
I hid this story I wrote under one of the shelves in my room, but when I wanted to look at it again, I had to reach deep into the darkness of the narrow space between the bottom of the shelf and the floor. When my hand emerged victorious, it gave a scrape of the top of my hand as payment, or whatever reason hands give stuff from themseves to shelves. Then I replaced the paper after reading it into the darkness and my hand and the shelf met, or whatever, again.

NOM Ominous said...

Hi Tori!
Hi Pyro!

NOM Ominous said...

*the end

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Here's what happened:

I was playing with my little sisters, Carissa and Jaida, and I ran into the kitchen. My backdoor, which has a window on it, is in there, so I ran for that. I went outside, and turned around to see that they'd shut the door and locked me out. They started laughing and making faces, and Jaida put her face up against the glass. I hit the glass, like we all do when we lock each other out. It never breaks, so we never worried about it. Until then. That time, I was bringing my hand to the glass, and Jaida jerked her head back, and my hand hit the window.

And went through it.

The glass shattered, and it had hit Carissa and Jaida, and cut the bottom of my wrist. I just stood there, shocked. Then Jaida screamed the most terrifying scream I'd ever heard. Meanwhile, the second the glass shattered, my brother Peren heard it. Apparently, he was playing video games, and he'd jumped up and sprinted down the stairs to my mom's bedroom. My mom was already darting up the stairs, expecting that maybe we'd knocked over a few glasses, until she heard Jaida scream. And in the kitchen, Jaida and Carissa were staring at me, bewildered at the fact of what I just did. My mom ran in, and said, "What just happened?!" Jaida turned around, still in shock, and said, "The window broke."

I started backing away, still outside. I looked through the window, or where it used to be, and I... I was just shocked. How'd I even do that? How did I break a window? I looked down at my wrist. There was dark blood dripping off of it. I stood there, and Carissa said something to my mom, and my mom said, "Don't come through this door." I hadn't even thought of that. I went through the backyard, over to the fence. I went in though the font door, and into my room. I looked at my wrist again. There was a small pool of blood so dark it nearly looked black sitting there.

Later, an ambulance came, wrapped Jaida's arm, which had been cut pretty deep, in a bandage. Carissa's shoulder had gotten cut, and she had put a bandaid on it. My wrist had, like, flaps of skin coming up, but no one really noticed. Jaida ended up getting stitches on her arm, and I found out a few days later that I should've gotten a few also.

And now we all have scars, and the window was finally replaced about two weeks ago.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Oh I'm so glad I'm done typing that huge thing.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Thanks Kallista :)

NOM Ominous said...

Hi everyone-- Val scary story.

NOM Ominous said...

all except your bro, how' he feel?

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

My brother didn't have any scars, but he's the one who called the ambulance. I could LIFT UP MY SKIN ON MY WRIST. Is that not something to worry about?!

But the good thing is, no one was angry at me. I really expected they would be. But it wasn't really my fault. At all. I just happened to be the last person to hit it. Like, the very last.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Me too. I guess that window really didn't like me. Why does glass hate me?!


A different time, I think it was two years ago because I'm pretty sure I was 10, the power went out, and somehow the full size mirror in my bedroom fell off my closet door, and onto me. The window didn't break, but... It slashed across my throat. And that was not good. I was fine, but having your throat slashed isn't exactly fun... People at school seriously SHIVERED when they saw it.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*the mirror didn't break

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Okay, I'm so amazing, that just now, I almost tripped myself XD

Sparky Braginski said...

Val V!!!! Thrust!!!! I'm ALL BETTER!!!!!!!!

Sparky Braginski said...

Aw... I missed Kal by three minutes? That's annoying...

Sparky Braginski said...

Hello?

Sparky Braginski said...

Val V you were talking TEN MINUTES AGO. Where are you now?

Sparky Braginski said...

*sighs*

My word this SUCKS.

Sparky Braginski said...

Val V?

Author-To-Be said...

Ahhhhh Mr. Landy! You made my night! First I laughed, then I showed my roommate, who has not read your amazing books, and she laughed. My cheeks hurt!

Ahhhhhh...

Hey Val! Hey Thrust!

Author-To-Be said...

... wait... I was only on page one. *shrugs*

Hey Sparky. Either I'm stalking you or your stalking me because we're always on at the same time.

Author-To-Be said...

... or hey no one. That's... that's fine too, I guess.

Blood Butterflies said...

YOU LIE, DEREK, YOU LIE! YOU AREN'T GETTING ANY CHRISTMAS PRESENTS FROM MEEEEEE.

Joking. You're chrismas present (Oh yes, I've gotten it already) is at this little link here: http://bloodmetamorphosis.blogspot.com/

Blood Butterflies said...

Hey Author-To-Be! I'm not sure if I can stay, because my mom's being sooooo restrictive. She's not around, so if I don't reply, just know that I've fought a terrible fight and I lost. If I DO reply after a very long time, that means I killed my mom.

Just saying.

Author-To-Be said...

... how terrible.

Blood Butterflies said...

^^ It's okay. It won't be THAT big a loss.

Oh wait..... you don't know what I mean by kill? I mean I defeated her in a terrible war of wits.

Blood Butterflies said...

There's a dozen reasons in this gun..... And as we're falling down.... into this pool of blood....

Author-To-Be said...

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?

Blood Butterflies said...

Lyrics. Demolition Lovers, by My Chemical Romance. Oh, and go to this chatroom, Kal and Raven are there: www.xat.com/AquilaFelis

NOM Ominous said...

OK, I have returned.






Only to leave shortly...
be prepared for sudden absence of Thrust Ominous (that's me).

NOM Ominous said...

I have this project to do

NOM Ominous said...

...and I'm still here...
OK, switching back and forth... I guess I shouldn't be doing this... OK checking back in 15 minutes.








maybe less








probably...

Author-To-Be said...

I have no idea how to remotely work that chat room thing.

Hey, Thrust!

Reflector said...

(this is Thrust)

NOM Ominous said...

NOOOOOOooooooOOOooOOOOOoOOoo!
THIS is Thrust.

Author-To-Be said...

... It appears that we have an identity crisis.

NOM Ominous said...

Hell yah

Reflector said...

Hey, look, get over it, I'm Thrust and that should settle it.

NOM Ominous said...

Clearly I'M Thrust.

Look it says it right there! Look! Don't you see?

Reflector said...

I'd say yes... so, no. I don't see it. Sorry, but you have now solid evidence that you are in fact Thrust, and I am not.

NOM Ominous said...

WHAT?! how can you say that!? Look its right there, right next to the awesome picture of an upside-down Skulduggery Pleastant, with a red background. Look it says "T-H-R-U-S-T O-M-I-N-O-U-S" right THERE!!

The Awesomely Awesome Ninja Llama who is just so Awesomely Awesome and she was so Awesomely Awesome that everyone DIED (aka FreakFan) said...

Hi everyone! Im on again!

Reflector said...

LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALAALALALA! I'M NOT LISTENNNNNNNNNIIIIIIINNNNGG!

*reads comment, without needing to 'hear' anything*

Author-To-Be said...

Thrust has a point, Awsomeknox. It does say "Thrust" on ... his/her name.

Author-To-Be said...

Hey! It's Freak!

The Awesomely Awesome Ninja Llama who is just so Awesomely Awesome and she was so Awesomely Awesome that everyone DIED (aka FreakFan) said...

Sup ATB!

NOM Ominous said...

Hi, FreakFan, I'm having a fight with myself. You're up-to-date now, so you can either participate, or stand witnessing this lunacity, or start a whole new convesation entierly.

The Awesomely Awesome Ninja Llama who is just so Awesomely Awesome and she was so Awesomely Awesome that everyone DIED (aka FreakFan) said...

I'll participate if u want me to . . . . . . i can also watch if u want :P

The Awesomely Awesome Ninja Llama who is just so Awesomely Awesome and she was so Awesomely Awesome that everyone DIED (aka FreakFan) said...

y r u having a fight wth ur self

NOM Ominous said...

@ ATB, his.

The Awesomely Awesome Ninja Llama who is just so Awesomely Awesome and she was so Awesomely Awesome that everyone DIED (aka FreakFan) said...

O iget it i just read the comments brefore :D

NOM Ominous said...

I also gave you the option to start up a new conversation. It's kindda boring talking to myself...

The Awesomely Awesome Ninja Llama who is just so Awesomely Awesome and she was so Awesomely Awesome that everyone DIED (aka FreakFan) said...

Lol wat u wanna talk about then???????

Author-To-Be said...

So... I'm doodling Springheeled right now, my fave character in the first four books. Not quite how had imagined him, actually.

Oh! I am so posting it on my blog though!... When I'm done, that is.

The Awesomely Awesome Ninja Llama who is just so Awesomely Awesome and she was so Awesomely Awesome that everyone DIED (aka FreakFan) said...

I love sketching the charachters as well! I've done valkyrie, tesseract, skulduggery (ofcourse) and the sea hag

The Awesomely Awesome Ninja Llama who is just so Awesomely Awesome and she was so Awesomely Awesome that everyone DIED (aka FreakFan) said...

I've tried doing tanith but her hair is a teensy weensy bit difficult for me :(

Reflector said...

Hey!
@ ATB HAHA, What'd'you mean "Awesomeknox!" I AM THRUST, THE AMAZING!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Its also pretty challenging, having a fight for absolutly no reason, with myself, I mean I bring up the most brilliant arguments, huh?)

The Awesomely Awesome Ninja Llama who is just so Awesomely Awesome and she was so Awesomely Awesome that everyone DIED (aka FreakFan) said...

Yea u do . . . . . (kinda)

Author-To-Be said...

... Not sure who Mr.T is there. I don't normally doodle Skulduggery characters. I normally doodle my own, like King Tenebrae and Shawdo, my two main Umbrae. (Pretty much skeletons). They look sort of like this, but with more "sludge".

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_laxt9w3LVD1qax22j.gif

The Awesomely Awesome Ninja Llama who is just so Awesomely Awesome and she was so Awesomely Awesome that everyone DIED (aka FreakFan) said...

That is aweomse!

NOM Ominous said...

I do bring up good arguments, yes. (Whereas, when I'm given some work for school, when it asks to provide arguments, I seldomly give one straight away, without needing to think for ten minutes or so).

Hey Awesomeknox, this whole affair is getting kinda annoying. I must ask you why you think so much you're not Awesomeknox. Rather you prefer my name?

Author-To-Be said...

I can post them on my blog for a moment so you can see them. Let me start up the scanner...

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*looks around* OH NO!!! Did I miss Sparky?!?

Author-To-Be said...

Done! You can look at King Tenebrae and Shawdo!

http://pleadinginsamity.blogspot.com/2011/11/temp-for-freak-and-thrust.html

NOM Ominous said...

My friends and I are (or were) weird, well mostly my friends, but I not giving myself credit would be a lie.
My friends and I played these weird games on paper, and to tell you the truth, it was mostly my friend. They whatched loads of Naruto, and played Yu-Gi-Yo when they were younger than they were in the time period that I'm talkiing about. (6-8) (maybe). Whereas I was lucky enough to know a few of the names of the characters in both feilds.
Anyway, for the sake of joinning in their game, my friend told me I had to make up a "fighting-guy," and here's what I came up with:

A skeleton, who uses a bone-staff-thing to use magic, and control roots, and skeleton hands to come out of the ground and attack his opponent.
And he wore a SCARF. No hat or sharp suits, only capes...

So he's a ninja skeleton guy that I made up when I was in grade 2, and no you cannot use him. haha.

Author-To-Be said...

Hey Val! I'm temporarily putting up a picture of King Tenebrae and Shawdo on my blog if you want to look at it.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

DEREK DID YOU READ MY STORY ABOUT YOU ON MY FANFIC BLOG?!?! DID YOU???


Because it's at http://isabellasfanfic.blogspot.com/ and it's called "Because Valkyrie decided to look up who she was..." and it is HILARIOUS. Derek, I swear you'll love it. Skulduggery thinks you're awesome through out the whole thing XD

Author-To-Be said...

Cool, Thrust. I made up tons of characters, but that guy sounds pretty awesome. I'm not sure if I had anyone skeletons in 2nd grade... except maybe one evil one...

NOM Ominous said...

That is so COOL, ATB. Did you only draw them by hand, and what are those quotations beside them?

Author-To-Be said...

Yes, yes I did. The first quote is Tenebrae:

"Petty to think that humans fought, bled, and died for such a glittery earthen thing."

And then Shawdo:

"Surprising what they fight, bleed, and die for indeed, My Lord."

Reflector said...

Hey, you haven't forgotten about ME have you?

Serena })i({ said...

Hahahah lol that sounded like fun :)

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*looks around again* Aww... I DID miss Sparky... All because I was watching people put live fish in their mouth and spit it back out again... Aww... Poor fish...

Author-To-Be said...

And Shawdo is not always a horse, and King Tenebrae not always a man. Umbrae are also called "bone-thieves" because they need skeletons in order to have a form.

NOM Ominous said...

No, I haven't Awesomeknox, but I was hoping you had left...

Author-To-Be said...

... I think we lost Freak.

Reflector said...

There you go again with that "Awesomeknox" thing again, who are you TALKING about?!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Awsomeknox, you misspelled the word "awsome". It's spelled A-W-E-S-O-M-E, with an "e" after the "W". Just so you know.

NOM Ominous said...

Alright fine. If you're Thrust, then who the heck am I?

Author-To-Be said...

I noticed that too. Val, did you see Tenebrae and Shawdo on my blog? I think you will find him very different from Mr. Landy's Tenebrae and his Umbra.

Reflector said...

Why, you'd be... I donno, who you really are...

OK, you could be this Awesomeknox character, you seem to love him...

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I haven't checked, but I will in a little while. I just got back to HERE.




And I think it's funny that no one commented on what I just said about people putting live fish in their mouth and spitting them back out again...

Author-To-Be said...

Wait... what... where did you- How did I miss that part? All I read was the part about missing Sparky.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Well, that's why I missed Sparky XD

Reflector said...

I was going to but was too busy arguing with myself.

NOM Ominous said...

Awright, Thrust, you win... I'm you and you're me, happy?

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Ah. Well, I argue with myself on a regular basis. I even witnessed my best friend, Amanda Moore/China Sorrows, (that's her username) yell at herself. It was funny.

Reflector said...

Ye- no.. let me rephrase that first. I'm Thrust, and you're Awesomeknox.
Now I'm thrilled. Can't you tell?

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Amanda also happened to video tape the fish thing... We were standing right next to the people XD

Author-To-Be said...

So... Why were people eating fish and spitting them out?

NOM Ominous said...

Please, Thrust --- call me Awesome.

NOM Ominous said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Author-To-Be said...

So Thru- er -Awesome, withe the Skulduggery pic, did you see that I put up the quotations for you?

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Oh! THAT. Yes, well, it was because they were asked to by one of the leader peoples. We also got to help convince people with blindfolds that they were standing on fish, because there were little canned orange slices spread out on a tarp that they needed to walk across...


But last time Amanda and I went, someone had to drink a burger, fries, milkshake, and ketchup blended together. Amanda was, again, video taping, but she got barfed on a little bit. When I said it was really, really funny, she ended up hitting me XD

NOM Ominous said...

They were awesome, ATB, so you have a story and whatever for these guys... Thats pretty sweet.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

And today, while Amanda and I were throwing socks that were duct taped into a ball at each other, she ended up getting me in a choke hold. And then I bit her arm. And then I ran. And then, then I tripped on some stairs. We're such good friends to each other :D

Author-To-Be said...

Where are you?! Why are people doing those things?!

XP

NOM Ominous said...

Val, did you notice the argument I was having with myself? Funny/Stupid, Oppinion (please).

NOM Ominous said...

ouch. You guys sound pretty cool.

Author-To-Be said...

I noticed... Awesome/Thrust. I'm not sure what to call you anymore.

I thought it was entertaining. Very good. Brava. *applauds*

Lots of signing in and out?

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Yes, yes, I noticed the arguement. It's a little in between, I've got to say. Awsomeknox, the one who's username that is, your being a little annoying. No offence. But seriously? You can't just steal other people's usernames.

NOM Ominous said...

YEEEE__SS OMG.... you have no idea!
and the times where I forgot who I was supposed to be... ugh. So i gave up and brought the end closer, added a punch-line, and now i'm exausted.

Author-To-Be said...

Awww... Poor thrust. *hands cookie*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

ATB, I was at some thing called wildlife.

Author-To-Be said...

That's enough for me. I wouldn't want to watch people do that... It would make me sick. Now I know what to avoid here on campus, though I'm sure it's going on somewhere, along with drinking... lots of drinking... It IS Thursday night, after all.

Reflector said...

Val Awesomeknox (awsomeknox, as you proudly proclaimed, is a character I created to make fun of. It's me, Thrust Ominous.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

We got smoothies, though. Delicious strawberry pineapple smoothies.

NOM Ominous said...

I like smoothies.



The "awsome" is a typo by the way. Did not actually think awesome is spelled that way. *looks back and forth, eyes filled with fear that they'd find out the truth*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

(Thrust - I know. But when I talk to myself, I use the same username the whole time... And people get a tiny hint of how insane I really am XD *grins mischievously*)

NOM Ominous said...

I know, but I wanted to do something unique. etc...

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*groans* Oh I should not have tripped on those stairs... Not to mention that I smashed down on my whole entire body. My knee probably has some huge bruise on it now. I'm thankful my HEAD didn't smash down, though. The one thing that didn't get injured. *thinks about that* Nevermind. Amanda and I were slapping each other in the face with cookies. And you'd never guess how much a cookie can hurt your head...

Author-To-Be said...

I have to go soon.

Val, did you look at the pic, or do you want to look at it? You don't have to, but I'm taking it down when I leave. I'm... sort of paranoid about people stealing my ideas since I work so dang hard on them.

NOM Ominous said...

It's like a dialogue, that I made up as I went, only people may possibly think that I was talking to someone else, etc.


(etc= I'm getting tierd and need to go to bed)

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

WARNING: Do not let your best friend smack you with a cookie. It hurts.

NOM Ominous said...

Will take that into account.





.... and with that, the amazing Thrust Ominous, goes heroically to sl-- zzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzz

Author-To-Be said...

I'm nearly there, too.

NOM Ominous said...

ATB, what would you say goes heroically, or heroically goes? I would go with the latter, but I was feeling in a 'former' mood right now...

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I'm not going to bed yet. Oh, and by the way, there IS a huge bruise on my knee. My knee is swelling up and my skin is anything but the color it should be. I should be concerned, shouldn't I?

Author-To-Be said...

hmmm... goes heroically to sleep or heroically goes to sleep...

I'm not sure. The first makes it sound like you are going to sleep in a heroic manner, but the second phrasing sounds more like the action of going to sleep is heroic.

NOM Ominous said...

You just don't stop getting hurt, do ya?
I'm sortta like that, whenever an injury is about heal, I get a new one...

NOM Ominous said...

Val you said you're very pale didn't you?

Thanks ATB, 'Night val and ATB

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Your injuries actually get to HEAL before you get a new one?! Lucky!


And I think those stairs were made of concrete...

NOM Ominous said...

Well the opportunity to heal...
I really g2g

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Yeah, I'm REALLY pale. Why?

NOM Ominous said...

Well what colour you now?

NOM Ominous said...

PS- I've got scars from places that remain mysterious...

Author-To-Be said...

'Night, Thrust.

Val, I repeat, I am going to bed soon, so if you have not looked at my picture and wish to, I advise that you do because I am very paranoid about people stealing my ideas and only put it up temporarily because I trust you guys even though I have never met you.

... And I am getting off soon so I can go over these notes to prepare for my quiz tomorrow and it is already almost midnight.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Well, my knee is GREEN, because of a bruise. The rest of me is fine. I think. I don't know, though...

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

ATB, it's fine if you take it down...

NOM Ominous said...

OK, last comment for tonight

My teacher got hit by a car, well bumped, but whatever, and his knee was x2 his other one. I didn't see the skin, but I imagine it wasn't pretty.
You should probably get it checked out. Teacher couldn't stand for at least a month...

Author-To-Be said...

omigosh omigosh omigosh! It was automatically put on some web album linked to my blog and when I went to check so is the picture for my header...!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Well, um, I'm pretty fine, and I'll be able to get over it. OW! I just freaking bent my leg! It HURT! *points at stairs* I BLAME YOU, YOU LITTLE JERK!!!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*looks at post* Derek, I swear, you'd better not come at my with a hammer when you find me on your doorstep stalking you...

Author-To-Be said...

...Okay. Fixed it. *sighs*

Goodnight, Val. Try not to fall down any more stairs or anything.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Oh, and me and Amanda were trying to describe to everyone at the wildlife thing about how amazing you are (I'm serious, that's the kind of stuff we talk about) and they couldn't get past the fact that you killed a door XD


Not to mention that Amanda's phone has internet, so she just showed them the picture XD

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Bye ATB! And I didn't neccessarily FALL down them. I TRIPPED on them.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

You know, I'm going to go write a story about me and Amanda. It'll be amazing.

Blood Butterflies said...

Hey Guys! I'm back!

Blood Butterflies said...

I guess no one's here. Oh well.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Hi! I think I'm the only other person here...



Hey, say something random. I need to be reminded of something my friend's done.

Blood Butterflies said...

BLOOD! THAT'S THE RANDOM THING FOR YOU!

Well they encourage your complete cooperation, send ya roses when they think you need to smile :)
I can't control myself because I don't know how and they love me for it honestly I'll be here for a while, so give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff, give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough so give them blood, blood, blood! Grab a glass because there's gonna be a blood!

A celebrated man amongst the gurneys, they can fix me proper with a bit of luck. The doctors and the nurses they adore me so and it's really quite alarming, cos I'm such an awful f*ck! (Why thank you!) I gave you blood, blood gallons of the stuff, gave you all that you could drink and it will never be enough I gave you blood, blood, blood! I'm the kind of human wreakage that you love!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Alright...

Blood Butterflies said...

^^ That's the lyrics to "Blood" by My Chemical Romance.

Blood Butterflies said...

I'm getting really infuriated by the rubbish the Daily Mail has written in an old article.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

1st

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

1st

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

1st

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

1st

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

1st

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

1st

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I dedicate this page to:

Amanda. She's amazing, and funny, and INSANE. Just like me. She's the best friend I could ever have, and I can't imagine the type of person I'd be without her. And even though we were smacking each other in the face with cookies earlier, we're best friends, and two people who have completely lost their minds.

Blood Butterflies said...

http://home.comcast.net/~wolfand/

Blood Butterflies said...

Oh, and Derek? You made a grammar mistake.


"So I swung." NOT "So I swing."

Also, I would have demolished the whole door.

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

hey any one on

Blood Butterflies said...

AMELIEEEEEE

Blood Butterflies said...

I gtg, sorry guys.

Rosella Embers said...

oh dear...!

i havent laughed so hard in years!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!


:P

Rosella Embers said...

"Think you're so tough?Think you're such a tough door? Look at you now! I'm breaking you apart! I could stick my head all the way through you and shout "Heeeeeeere's Johnny!' You are NOTHING to me! I am victorious! You are NOTHING!"




:P


and the fearsome golden god strikes fear in all doors worldwide, leaving them trembling in their (thankful) doorframes!!!!!


lol

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

Butterfleies how goes it

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

ROSELLA!!! HI!!!


AMELIE!!! HI ALSO!!!

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

hi ppl im shooting at my wall

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

That sounds... interesting. I watched two people put live fish in their mouths today.

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

oh no it with a nerf gun

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

so what are you dpoing

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

you stilll here

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