For most of my life, I had no interest. I didn't want to read about some made-up place that never existed and people running around with swords and elves and trolls and dragons and whatnot. I wanted stories set in reality, in the modern day. Fantasy films were fine, but I only had to spend two hours watching those. Reading a fantasy book was altogether different.
I never read The Lord Of The Rings. My brother did, and whenever he spoke about it I could sense the frustration in his voice whenever he talked about the endless songs and silliness. I liked the movies, of course. Well, I liked the parts in the movies where they focussed on the humans. Hobbits I could do without.
And then I read a review of a book called The Blade Itself by Joe Abercrombie. The review said this book had blistering action and fascinating characters and the whole thing was held together by acerbic wit. And that was the thing. Wit. Humour. For me, fantasy books just seemed so incredibly po-faced, like they took themselves way too seriously.
So I picked up The Blade Itself, and I loved it. I loved everything about it. I loved every single thing about this book and it was fantasy, so I asked myself— what else have I been missing out on? And the series that was recommended by quite simply everyone was George RR Martin's A Song of Fire and Ice— which later became known as the Game of Thrones books, thanks to the TV show. So I read that, and I loved it. I read the next one and the next one and the next one. I loved them all.
All this is a (very) roundabout way of introducing Curse of Kings, by Alex Barclay.
Alex is a friend of mine. She's a crime writer by day, and has recently become a fantasy author by night. I love her crime novels. I never know what the hell is going on until the final few pages, and I am technically in love with her main character, Ren Bryce. Ren Bryce is the most awesome woman in the world, and I don't care that she doesn't actually exist. She exists for me, and that's what matters.
Alex's crime novels are thoroughly modern and laced with one-liners and sarcastic asides, so when she told me she was writing a fantasy novel for younger readers, I was thrilled.
(Unless she's reading this blog. If you're reading this, Alex, I wasn't thrilled. I was the opposite of thrilled. I was un-thrilled. I was de-thrilled. It takes a lot more than YOU to thrill ME ands that's no mistake. Damn right. Darn tootin'. I'm going to stop talking about this now. Hell yeah.)
Curse of Kings has it all. It has kingdoms and heroes and villains and secrets and mysteries and swords and killing and monsters and monsters and monsters. Did I mention it has monsters? It does. Lots of them. And they're all... weird. Oh, and the book also has lamprey eels. Do yourself a favour. Search Google Images for lamprey eels. Go on, I'll wait. Just type it in and take a look... go on...
Yes. There are things THAT disgusting in real life.
I'm not going to go into detail about the Big Mystery in Curse of Kings, because even mentioning what the mystery hinges on could spoil it for you, and I wouldn't want to do that. Hopefully it'll take you as much by surprise as it did me.
And if all that doesn't convince you, take a look at one of the coolest book trailers I've seen in a long time. And pay attention to the man whose quote they use on the cover. He sounds like he knows what he's talking about.
4,950 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 4801 – 4950 of 4950HI STAR(again)!
So how are you two?
I'm good! My legs are extremely sore, though...
HOW ARE YOU?
I'm awesome. Or would be if our holidays didn't end on Sunday, nooooo! :)
Why are they sore, Miss?
Aw. :( I'm sorry I haven't been on to talk to you much during your holiday, Star.
I'm... So-so...
I had racquet sports yesterday and today.
But it's finally the weekend!!!
Cool!
*had to look up racquet*
Ooh. We call it racket, I think. Never played it before. Is it fun?
Everybody seems to think I'm lazy
I don't mind, I think they're crazy!
Running everywhere at such a speed . . .
Is that a song, Star?
Yes, was it fun?
*smiles* Only thirty-two days (that's four weeks and four days) till my next holidays, Lav. :) And two weeks, then. This was half term, one week, and it's the blink of an eye anyway . . .
It's fun. :)
But also very tiring.
*looks at book*
We have to read this book for school. It's called 'Short and Scary'.
They're short, and not scary at all.
Yay! Two week holiday!
Thirty-two days is either a month and a day, or a month and two days. *remembers it's February* oh yeah! So it would be a month and four days... *was basically what Star said in the first place* *facepalms*
It does sound tiring. *thinks* if I'm supposed to do exercise to get my hyperness out, I should find someone to play badminton with me... Cause just doing something else by myself is lonely...
Are they supposed to be scary though?
I think they're meant to be scary, yeah.
Meant. That was the word... Oh.
*had something else typed but erased it*
Yeah, it was a song. The Beatles. Even though I generally don't like the Beatles all that much . . .
Sorry, distant. I was reading. I'll be less distant now - playlisting.
*starts to quietly sing the clean version of P!nk's song, Perfect*
Okay, Star.
They play The Beatles music a lot at lunchtime...
Badminton is fun. So's tennis. Ah, last summer we (me, my mum, my brother, my sister) started booking tennis courts every now and then. We're incredibly pathetic at it, but we have fun so who cares? :)
We did Squash today...
It was fun, and I lost every game. :D
How do you sing clean versions? :/ Surely you just, like, leave gaps . . .
Ah, I find the clean version of Down With The Sickness is amusing because it has a lot of swear words contained in a few lines and there's just all these gaps and it's funny, not sure how.
It's good you have fun, Star. :) I tried tennis once... One time I actually hit the ball /over/ the gate... :P
*is singing Perfect irl, voice growing a little louder*
Well, instead of the F word, it's 'you are perfect'. Not sure what they actually had to change, but they changed the lyrics. I made a video of the clean version of that song before. I think it was the last singing video of mine...
*laughs*
Ah, losing is so awesome when you can laugh about it. :)
I tried cheating. Still didn't win. XD
*nods* Oh, that's cool! They should do that all the time.
When most people clean DWTS, they just leave out the bridge . . .
HAVEN'T YOU HEARD THAT CHEATS NEVER PROSPER?????
My dad always says, "If at first you don't suceed - cheat!"
*laughs*
Your dad is awesome, Star.
*laughs* Thanks. :)
Oh, and how can you cheat at racquet?
I agree!!
OMGG, OBLIVION THE MOVIE LOOKS SO FREAKIN AMAZING. :O
Erm, you just say that it was a let or something...
*laughs*
Brb, breakfast!
OK STAR!!
Oblivion?
Okay, Star.
Yeah, Oblivion. It's a new movie which trailer I just saw on YouTube...
*goes to check it out*
Wbd.
Whoa! It does look really cool!
Be right back.
Going to a birthday party
Don't know what to buyyyyy
Maybe a t-shirt
Cause she likes tie-dye? :P
lol, I suck at this. Hey everyone!
Hi/bye Lav! *hugs*
Hi Missy! *hugs*
HI MARA!!
I suck at birthday pressies, as well.
*is back*
Aand there's the dinner bell... Oh well, still here. I'll go down later.
... When I think about it, I can get why people think I'm annoying...
Me too. Which is why I make cards.
Hi Mara!
BACK!
Heyness, Mara. :)
DAMN HER. WHY IS SHE SO HARD TO SHOP GOR?! *is annoyed*
Lav, you're not annoying! :O You're amazayn, fantastic, 1Derful and Maratastmazfect!! *hugs*
*nods at Mara* SHE SAID IT, LAV. :)
MARA EXPLAINED IT PERFECTLY, LAV.
Wb, Star.
Well, I know you know about what I said last night, Mara... *says quietly* All I meant to type was the disorder thing... But I'm probably annoying to some because of that. And I don't mean to people who've known me for a while. My mom even said it(as a joke though, but it still hurt...) that the only reason people won't tell me to shut up is because they want to be polite... What she meant was that she wanted me to stop giving away all the ideas for my story...
But... Yeah... Star and Miss- a lot of others don't know about that yet... I was going to make a post about that and other things... But... *no words*
I have a lot of things I could say . . . But I don't want to, coz I'll get everything all wrong and yeah. :/
I don't really know what to say to that, Lav...
*hugs Lav*
But it was because I was talking a lot and I've been told I could talk ears off and the things I say are so pointless that people don't care and I just keep going on and on about everything...
It's a 'sort of' disorder that I have that makes me talk so much... I found out recently. And I thought it was just how I am... It's also the reason for my random/sudden subject changes. I think too much at a time... And when I get excited or hyper, my voice gets higher pitched and I start talking fast(sometimes I can't even be understood) and... I didn't even realize my voice gets higher pitched... It annoys some people(mostly the ones who know me most because they don't care to tell me that I get annoying), and because it can be /fixed/, they want me to try... But it's so hard... Now I can't say it's natural, because it's not. It's a /fixable/ problem... And even if I don't want to change it, it doesn't matter what I think because it makes me selfish not to think of what other people feel about it...
*speaks quietly*
Sometimes, I wish I /could/ just be able to be quiet...
*speaks normal* Like a shy person. But I'm not shy... Usually. So it's /disorderly/ for me to talk a lot... '~' but what really annoys people is that I say irrelevant things... Things that don't need to be said... I guess it's the disorder as well that makes me want to say things that are on my mind...
Sorry I poofed... Friend came back in the room. And now I need to go to dinner...
Speaking of the talking thing... She always asks me to do something for her, like hand her something which I don't mind doing, so she asked me get something for her and I said sure. Then she told me "You're so nice- when you're not talking." Then I said sarcastically, "Well, thanks!" Then she said "Unless you want me to lie."
... Perfect example.
Sorry, not I'm going... Might not be back later...
*now
Bye.
Bye Lav. :(
Nonononono! D: I had a perfect speech and my goddamned phone just switched off! D:
DAMMIT!
Bye Lav... *hugs*
*smiles*
I say irrelevant things so much. I start saying something's like this thing in a book, then I start explaining all about the book so people get the significance of the scene, and my mum's just like, "Only tell us the things we WANT to know - we don't want to know that who was whp's cousin or this or that or whatever."
And I tell people all about my life att. I've told you my friends just ignore me when I speak a lot of the time because they're that used to not knowing what 'm on about?
I'm trying to stop telling people about my life att. I've tried to stop posting everything I'm doing and what I think about it on the blog, coz you don't want to know and I'm not telling you, I just like saying things. If I notice or think somthing, I'll randomly say it to whoever's around because I want to say it. Do you think I go on about my playlist and lyrics vids att? Well, there. I'm failing. I tell myself, "They don't want to know this, you'll survive without telling anyone," whenever I remember to and I feel I'm so annoying because everybody must go, "Why must you say all this? We don't want to here, it doesn't affect us."
So I can empathise with you in a way . . .
But I can be shy, though. Everyone at my fencing, for example, thinks I'm really shy and timid. I only properly speak to people if I like know them . . . Being shy isn't all it's cracked up to be. :)
Everybody has things that are annoying. Everybody. When people are friends with people, you look past things you don't like about them because of what you do like.
And you don't have to change yourself, if you don't want to. "Think you're a little bit closer to chnaging me? You're never winning me over, you're wasting time." Bound, by Disturbed. "And though you'll try you'll never find a way to break me!" Divide, by Disturbed. "The thing I treasure most in life, cannot be take away! There will never be a reason why, I will surrender to your advice! To change myself I'd rather die, though they will not understand. I won't make the greatest sacrifice, you can't predict where the outcome lies!" I'm Alive, by Disturbed. *can see these quotes becoming increasingly irrelevant* But Disturbed have a lot of songs that say the message of "I'm me, I can be me if I want, you can't change me." <3
Just because you have a bad habit and everyone tells you to stop doesn't mean you're obligied to break it. *looks down at fingernails*
Also . . . there isn't anything wrong with you. Nobody's brain is rewired the same way. When people are slightly different to the norm, people call it a disorder. :/ Stone Age people didn't have spatial awareness. They saw two cows in a field, one nearer and one furthere away, and they'd think the further away one was smaller because it looked smaller. If someone developed that DID have spatial awareness, they'd probably say that person had a diorder or something wrong with them, when actually, that person could see better than anyone else.
Everyone's different. People just like labelling people because they're different. Just because you've found out your disorder is a disorder doesn't change anything at all. It just means they're a nme for a slight different between you and "the normal." What is normal, anyway? Can someone tell me what a "normal" human is? You can't, other than the vague "there's nothing wrong with them." And actually, everybody has things wrong with them, so having nothing wrong with you makes you ABNORMAL.
Argh, brb, sorry.
Wow, Star..
That was... *eyes widen*
I have no words... It was too amazing...
Lav, listen to Star. I think it might help. :)
*dives under covers*
*mumbles*
You know how when you've with people a lot their views and ways of doing things rub off on you?
*shrugs* My characters are rubbing off on me. Quite a lot. Not just in this. Odd but true. *points at speech* Blame their influence. :P
It's scary though, coz my characters are messed up. XD
MARAAAAAAAAAA, you're amazayn. *hugs* DANKE. :)
Amazing speech, Star. :)
*has about ten minutes*
I really appreciate the speech, Star, and thank you... But... There are reasons why I should try to not talk so much... Besides the not annoying people thing... But I can't say...
I'm sorry.
Another thing is that I'm so slow in everything I do except talking... Doing chores that could take someone ten minutes takes me half an hour...
*pulls at hair, making it cover her face* Gah... I'm sorry... Sorry, sorry, sorry... *fades to quite*
*coughs*
It's not that great, but it's one of the best things I've ever said so I'll admit this time it isn't rubbish. I am relatively honest. If you remember my last speech, I was screaming it was rubbish BECAUSE IT WAS. This one was okay. :)
Okay, thinking about it again, annoying people is basically it, but- *can't think of the words to say* I had it, then forgot it... But that's part of the disorder too... I think too much at once and I forget things because of it.
I'm sorry. I'm being so stupid right now...
*now has three minutes*
Great...
DON'T BE SORRY!
I've got friends who say they used to be let in ten minutes early for lunch at primary because they were such slow eaters, then at the end of their hour-and-a-half lunch break they were still sitting there eating their lunch and managed to finish twenty minutes into the next lesson.
I don't know what my point was, now . . .
But being slow at stuff is fine. It's better than if you weren't doing anything. You make a difference. Don't think of what you CAN'T do, thing of what you CAN do. :)
Argh, gtg. D: Real life is pulling me. Bb later.
It's okay you can't tell us, btw.
Now, *runs off into real life panickly*
Bye Star.
*one minute*
... Maybe I'll just go then. Bye whoever else is here...
Hi Lav!!
Bye Star!!
Lav, what Star said. Don't think of what you can't do, think of what you can do. :)
Hello?
*sighs*
I've gotta go now.
Bye!
Byebye, Miss Cain! *waves*
I'm back!
STUPID HAIR. DRYYYY THOU FOUL BEASTED BEAST!
Maraaaaaa!!!!! *ninjaeroplanetacklehugs*
Hellooooo!
Ah, I was going to wash my hair this morning, but I was too lazy...
*is ninjaeroplanetacklehugged* Hiya Ieni! :)
I had to. Because it is my friend's birthday party. And she wants to do my hair...? *is confuzzled*
We're going roller skating! *is excited*
But I can't skate, so me and C _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ will be stumbling along... XD
Ah...it's my friend's birthday tomorrow. I shall have fun annoying her *nods*
Ah, I can't skate either. I went half ice-skating once with my friends. It was slightly amusing at my failure...
Tell her I said happy birthday! XD
Yeah... I'm going to FAIL! Yay!
Or I'll just trip everyone else up... ;)
Ah, she actually knows all about Blogland, so I shall!
And tell your friend I said Happy Birthday!
Trip everyone else up sounds much more fun! I hope you have lots and lots of fun at this party thingy:)
I'll tell my friend! She doesn't know about Blogland... But I'll tell her anyway! :P
Thanks Ieni! :) WE'RE GETTING CHOCOLATE CAKE. I go hyper after chocolate cake... :3
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!
Chocolate cake! Save some for me? Pweeaaase? *puppy eyes that I'm really bad at doing*
Ieni making a cake for her friend *nods*
G2g - byebye *waves*
Enjoy the party!:)
Mara save chocolate cake for Ieni! *nods*
Mara make cupcakes for friend. Chocolate icing. Say '1D' on the top :3
IENI SAVE MARA SOME OF IENI'S CAKE?!? *puppy dog eyes also*
Bye Ieni! *hugs*
I will, thanks! :)
3 hours 20 minutes till party...
I hate when Blogland is quiet and you're the only one here... :P
WHEN THE HELL IS DEREK POSTING AGAIN
IM HERE]
HEHEH
so hi guys! Bababa BAa
Yoohoo?
Just to say, Ieni, if you're still here, my friend says thanks! :3
*is not here, is getting ready for party*
Help! I have three missed calls and a text from my friend. The text says "Hi holly can you get back to me asap x"
Only I'm out of credit and I can't top up till my dad gets home.
What do I do?
Hi, btw. We went swimming and me, my bro and my sis had a treading water competition. My brother dropped out after two minutes, my sister dropped out after twenty minutes and I carried on (dropped out after thirty-one minutes) until we were all leaving and had to go home. I wasn't tired - the pain kept coming and going - so next time I'll do it just legs - less time consuming. :)
I used to be relatively good at swimming, but it's years since I had swimming lessons so my brother and sister always beat me in stamina swimming-wise, so I'm proud of myself. :)
Do you have another way of contacting her, Star?
Msd. It's less than twenty to midnight... I /should/ be sleeping, but just finished my shower and I'm not tired at all...
Also, that's cool about the swimming thing. I like swimming, but can't do very much with one hand. *uses the other to hold her nose* but swimming like a mermaid is so fun. :P
The landline. But I don't like phoning people. And I would have to explain to my mum that my phone's out of credit. Which I don't like doing. The main reason being I'm me.
*laughs* I'm incredibly unsocial.
HI LAVENDER!
My nose is cold... *shivers*
But if she wants to tell you something important... Maybe you should call and see what's up. Just a suggestion. Of course, being a social butterfly most of the time, that's what I'd do. :P
HI STAR! :)
Hi Star! *hugs*
Hey Lav! *hugs* :)
I'm getting my friend smiley face earrings! :3
Hi Mara! I'd just hold my nose when it's cold. Helps a bit, but usually I can ignore the cold.
Sounds cool. :)
*shakes head* Your nose will survive. :)
Just don't breathe. :)
I HATE dolphin kick. I can never do it. It's so tricky! Like my siblings, backstroke is my forte. Most of the time I use breast stroke. Front crawl I can do. Butterfly? No way. :) My sister informed me she can do butterfly. I never got to Grade Seven, so . . . I quit swimming at the end of Grade Four. :)
Ooh my friend just phoned me. :)
See? Maybe it is something important that she really wants to tell you.
Dolphin kick. So that's what it's called. Icantdostrokes. Doggypaddle is easy. XP
I keep my hands inside my sleeves usually, so they stay warm. Holding my nose would mean exposing my hands. :O It's a good idea if you'ee wearing glovws though. :)
Of course, when we have Games and PE, have no long sleeves, so my hands just freezicle and start hurting with the cold. :) My nose doesn't actually get rhat cold generally . . .
Burying your nose in your knees, Mara?
Oh yeah. HI, MARA!
I took very short swimming lessons... Once I learned how to swim without using a floaty or drowning, I stopped. :P
I was kinda a natural. Except one very stupid time, I breathed in underwater... -_- Stupidest thing I did. But luckily, it was 1) on the shallow side(although I was too short then to touch...) and 2) it was during a lesson, so someone was there the instant I started flailing my arms around.
She was asking me if I wanted to go to the cinema, but it's too late now. Her calls were two hours, one hour and one hour ago. I explained we were out. She said maybe we could meet up later. After the call my mum pointed out, maybe not, seeing as I have rockclimbing . . .
Put your nose between your knees? I've never heard that one before. I think gloves don't really make much difference to warm your nose. Hands, yeah. But if I rub my fingers against my nose, it warms them both slightly.
Oh... That stinks...
I think I'm going to try going to bed now. Good night!
Sorry I disappeared!
I hate swimming... Don't know why. *blows on nose*
Bye Lav! *hugs*
I have to go too... Sorry Star! :( *hugs*
. . . I honestly can't remember a time before I knew front crawl and backstroke . . . I started swimming lessons before I started school. I got stuck on this one level though. :/
You use a float through all the levels. :) Helps you focus on just your legs, or arms. Then there's diving and collecting bricks from the bottom of the pool and stuff. *frowns vaguely* My sister'll probs be able to go into great detail on it . . .
Ah, I miss swimming lessons. :( It was my only sport I did before rockclimbing. *nods*
That must have been terrifying! :) *tries to remember if I ever did that*
Probably. *nods vaguely*
:( FOURS, BOTH OF YOU!
I can stay, but I'll be distant...
Msd.
My friends say hi! :)
HI, MARA'S FRIEND!
Sorry, I was homeworking. :)
IM ON A BUSSSSSSS
Hey Ivy!
Hi people
Ivy/ Valkyrie
Will Derek be including u in the books.
Also Derek said that no one will know which character he is in the books. What if he is the man with golden eyes. Answer me gear Valkyrie cain
Brad, Newcastle
Brb. :(
FINALLY, IT'S THE HOLIDAYYYYYS
Its the holidays woo
Hello?
HELLO MEL:)
HEY LUCE :)
*runs in like a crazy person*
Msd.
MY HOLIDAYS IS ENDING, GODDANMIT.
Msd.
It's climbing tonight. *groans* I'm all tired . . .
*GODDAMMIT
*cries* INKY NO WANT TO GO CLIMBING! Inky want to lie here, close Inky's eyes, and kick off her shoes like she's down at the beach! (Big Time Rush reference*
Meh. Inky'll live. :)
Hi! Sorry I haven't been on in ages, I went on this really long school camp. How are you?
SORRY I DISAPPEARED.
SCREECHING BECAUSE COMPLETE BLOODY COLLECTION
i'd never have thought it was possible for me to complete it
and in L E S S than a year, omgg
What did you complete Luci?
UK Collection of Skulduggery Pleasant books.
I think it only just dawned on me, today, that I a c t u a l l y have done it.
oh my golden god
Sorry I dissapeared! My holidays started at the start of last week and ended at the start of this one :(
HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOO BLOGLAAAAAAAAAND
*Realizes that last comment was 15 minutes ago...*
oh..
*Realizes that last comment was 15 minutes ago...*
oh..
I'm still here! Sort of...
I want food, but nobody seems to be agreeing on a type of food I WANT SHAJ'S D;
DAMN PEOPLE
Im hungry too. I want lat comment. Cus he probs looks at last comment
tHERE IS ONLY TEN COMMENTS LLEFT
Ok! I wanna make teh best of it. Now start talking.
I don't want anything to eat.
If I could, I'd never eat again. But people force me to...
It's rare when I'm actually hungry.
Best. Party. Everrrrrrr(:
I learned how to rollerskate!!!! :D
I might suddenly disappear...
I'm not in the best of moods...
Thats great mara.
5 MORE COMMENTS...
I fell over a million times... *laughs*
Hi Luci! *hugs* :)
Hey Jubi. :)
Hi Brave. :P
IM DETERMAINED TO GET LAST
I hope you feel better soon, Luci! *hugs* :(
SECOND LAST
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