Every spare moment of the past week, I've been signing.
Whenever I need a break from the new book, whenever I need time to think something through, I've been going into the kitchen, sitting at the table, and pulling over another stack of pages to scribble my name upon. My dreams are now lagged by random sheets of paper, flying by on the breeze. They've become a constant in my life. They're always there, whenever I look around. When I have lunch, they're there. When I have dinner, they're there.
(I don't really have breakfast, which explains why they're not there then.)
(I mean, they ARE there. It's not like they AREN'T THERE at morning time. They are. Listen, if I DID have breakfast, which I don't, they would be there for breakfast as well. But I don't, so... so why are we even arguing about this?)
How many sheets of paper have I signed, you ask? 3000, I answer.
Why am I doing this, you ask? Because these sheets of paper will be collected from my home, shipped back to the UK, and placed into 3000 very special editions of my new book.
Ladies and gentlemen, i present to you the Limited Platinum Edition of Demon Road, available EXCLUSIVELY when you preorder at Waterstones.
It's taken a HUGE amount of work to get a cover this strong, and while we have the regular gold cover to reflect my Golden God status, I reckoned Waterstones should have a Platinum Edition for the sterling work they've done in supporting me.
(Sterling! Get it? Sterling and platinum! Haw!)
(Yes, I realise that sterling is silver and platinum is a metal, but they're both ROUGHLY the same colour, and if you could just let me have this one without pointing out how none of this makes any sense, I'd be ever so grateful.)
You can pre-order here, if you so wish: https://www.waterstones.com/book/demon-road-signed-edition/derek-landy/9780008160500